I'm sure most of you have experienced times when you didn't feel anything, or rather thought you couldn't feel anything. I sometimes wondered if I was simply a mechanical robotic being or extremely self-indulgent that I don't know how to feel for others anymore. Am I becoming psychotic? Senseless? Emotionless? Drifting away from humans?
a) When you see your "best friend", about who you complained and bitched to your mom, after around 2 years, and you feel something. Inside. Something warm and fuzzy. And Absolutely Wonderful. Something that makes you sprint in the railway station as soon as you set your eyes on her, not caring about anything else in the world except to go to her as fast as possible so that you can crack jokes, giggle, weave dreams and have fun just like you've always done for 11 years before she moved out of town. That's Love hitting you like alcohol or other substances, in its purest form.
b) When you find yourself staying up all night to take care of a stray-pet-kitten or pup exactly like a new mom takes care of her baby. No, I'm not kidding. You get up every time it moves or simply shuffles, put it to sleep after a while, adjust its blanket/cloth 'cause it peed, and comfort it at the slightest noise it makes. And you don't feel any inconvenience or pain at all. And what more, you marvel later at how you even managed it. That's Love again, fueling you throughout the night just so you can take care of something that you so adore.
c) When you experience sudden impulses at the sight of certain people, or the tune of certain songs, or certain smells - impulses to just talk to a person, or hold them close or simply just immerse yourself in those happy memories associated with that sight/sound/smell. You can't explain what got over you suddenly, you find yourself dialing that number in the middle of the night, probably your mom who you hung up on that evening because you were busy; or your childhood friend who you haven't spoken to in months, 'cause you just wanted to talk anything and everything. That's Love too, making sure the connection's still there.
d) When you go ahead and do something completely random and insane, putting yourself out there, like confessing to someone (your feelings or a crime :P), or trying out at theater (when all you've done are play small skits with your cousins), or just getting out there and dancing to your heart's rhythm, 'cause you know that nothing else matters other than you and your life. Your loved ones? Of course they'll be there. That's Love, Love for yourself, and Love for Life itself, making itself known, though you sometimes don't realize it.
So you see, it's instances like these that make you realize that you are Alive. You feel Life. There are many more such incidents, some that make you realize when you Love another being, or person, but those are too many. And no, I'm not talking about little crushes you have, or feelings born due to raging hormones, pop culture etc. But even those give little kicks that do make you feel Alive. It's instances such as these that reassure you that you are not turning into a robot, machine or a zombie. Cherish them. Increase them. Instance (d) is completely in your hands - break free and Do things that make you feel alive, that make you feel like you've achieved something, conquer something. Live.
But things happen. Suddenly, without any kind of expectation anticipation or warning of it happening. Things like:
b) When you find yourself staying up all night to take care of a stray-pet-kitten or pup exactly like a new mom takes care of her baby. No, I'm not kidding. You get up every time it moves or simply shuffles, put it to sleep after a while, adjust its blanket/cloth 'cause it peed, and comfort it at the slightest noise it makes. And you don't feel any inconvenience or pain at all. And what more, you marvel later at how you even managed it. That's Love again, fueling you throughout the night just so you can take care of something that you so adore.
c) When you experience sudden impulses at the sight of certain people, or the tune of certain songs, or certain smells - impulses to just talk to a person, or hold them close or simply just immerse yourself in those happy memories associated with that sight/sound/smell. You can't explain what got over you suddenly, you find yourself dialing that number in the middle of the night, probably your mom who you hung up on that evening because you were busy; or your childhood friend who you haven't spoken to in months, 'cause you just wanted to talk anything and everything. That's Love too, making sure the connection's still there.
d) When you go ahead and do something completely random and insane, putting yourself out there, like confessing to someone (your feelings or a crime :P), or trying out at theater (when all you've done are play small skits with your cousins), or just getting out there and dancing to your heart's rhythm, 'cause you know that nothing else matters other than you and your life. Your loved ones? Of course they'll be there. That's Love, Love for yourself, and Love for Life itself, making itself known, though you sometimes don't realize it.
So you see, it's instances like these that make you realize that you are Alive. You feel Life. There are many more such incidents, some that make you realize when you Love another being, or person, but those are too many. And no, I'm not talking about little crushes you have, or feelings born due to raging hormones, pop culture etc. But even those give little kicks that do make you feel Alive. It's instances such as these that reassure you that you are not turning into a robot, machine or a zombie. Cherish them. Increase them. Instance (d) is completely in your hands - break free and Do things that make you feel alive, that make you feel like you've achieved something, conquer something. Live.
the first one was soo gud :) so are the others.. gud1 :)
ReplyDeleteThanks! :)
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